[00:00:01] Welcome to the River Church podcast. We're all about bringing the life, hope and love of Jesus to everyone around us. For more information, check out our
[email protected] oh man. Thank you very much, Colin.
[00:00:14] Good this morning. So today we're celebrating children. I've said that already.
[00:00:19] Thankfully they're not in the room at the moment, so they don't hear about it. Today we can think about them. We don't want them to know. But children are a blessing, right? Children. Children are a blessing, aren't they, Resmar? Yes, but parenting is tough.
[00:00:32] Who's with me here?
[00:00:34] Parenting is tough and everyone finds parenting tough.
[00:00:39] So I found a few random Internet quotes about parenting.
[00:00:44] You might have seen them before.
[00:00:46] A two year old is kind of like a blender, but you don't have a top for it. Who knows that? Okay. Do you know a toddler who gets everything? You leave them in a room by themselves and everything, everything is out. How did they get that from there?
[00:01:02] And how did it end up over there? Do you know? One of those things. You always have to go around cleaning up after them. But actually sometimes the noise is good, isn't it?
[00:01:14] Because otherwise silence is golden. Unless you have a toddler, then it's just suspicious.
[00:01:19] Come on, Priscilla, that's true, isn't it? Yes. You know that if there's no noise, they're up to no good. You're going to go and have to find out about them. But sometimes it's. You want the silence, don't you? You want to be able to just take that time and have a little break and just sit down.
[00:01:38] And sometimes you're trying to get a child's attention. But actually it's one of these, isn't it, the quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention? Sit down and, and look comfortable.
[00:01:49] You've made your cup of tea, you've got your biscuits. Sorry, I'm very English in that way. And you've sat down, you've just got a book or whatever and then the noise starts.
[00:02:00] It's that sort of thing.
[00:02:03] Children get our attention whether we like it or not. But one of the things, and this last quote I found actually is absolutely true, but it may be a little bit creepy. Okay?
[00:02:17] It says, don't worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they're always watching you.
[00:02:23] Little bit creepy, isn't it? But it's true, isn't it? It's true they're watching you. Whether you intentionally try and tell them something or model something or Trying to communicate something or whether you're not. They're looking at what you're doing and your interactions.
[00:02:39] But. But parenting is tough, right? Parenting is tough, but we've got an aim, haven't we? We've got a goal with parenting.
[00:02:47] And I think there's some mix up in culture because sometimes people in culture can position having children as something for you, right?
[00:02:57] Having children is your expression of your dreams and ambitions in life.
[00:03:04] But that's not what I think the first call of parenting is.
[00:03:08] The first call of parenting is to serve.
[00:03:11] It's to serve the children. The first call is to train them, isn't it?
[00:03:15] We're educating, we're disciplined, we're nurturing, we're caring for, we're providing. That's the first call of it.
[00:03:23] And so maybe if we put a mission statement, if our mission statement for children, right, Our mission statement, you know, you get these mission statements for companies and things like that. We've got one as a church.
[00:03:35] But a mission statement for children, what would it be?
[00:03:39] It might be raising good humans through bribery. Patience of coffee. No, that's not the right one.
[00:03:45] That could be one. But if we had a Christian mission statement for children raised for parents in it might be this.
[00:03:53] Faithfully shepherding the hearts of our children towards Christ.
[00:04:00] Wow.
[00:04:02] I don't know about you, but I just like, man, that is a challenge.
[00:04:07] Man, that is a challenge.
[00:04:10] I look back and think, wow, did I do that? Am I still doing that?
[00:04:15] Wow, that's a challenge. Faithfully shepherding the hearts of our children.
[00:04:20] What might that involve? How are we going to do that?
[00:04:23] How on earth are we going to do that? Well, I'm going to read a passage this morning from the Bible from a letter that's called Hebrews in the Bible in the New Testament. And it's written to encourage some Christians who are going through a hard time. So it's not specifically about parenting, but I think we can look at it and I think we can get some encouragement, some direction about how that we might parent in. So if you've got your Bibles, it's in Hebrews and it's chapter 12. I will put it up on the screen as well and we will read it together.
[00:04:55] And we're going to read it through and then I'm just going to get a couple of points that I think help us to see what parenting is about.
[00:05:04] Okay, Hebrews 12.
[00:05:08] And it says, have you forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son?
[00:05:16] It says, my son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline and do not lose heart when he rebukes you.
[00:05:23] Because the Lord disciplines the one he loves and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.
[00:05:32] Endure hardship as discipline.
[00:05:35] God is treating you as his children.
[00:05:37] For what? Children are not disciplined by their father.
[00:05:41] If you are not disciplined and everyone undergoes discipline, then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live?
[00:06:02] So they disciplined us for a little while, as they thought best.
[00:06:07] But God disciplines us for our good in order that we may share in his holiness.
[00:06:13] No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful later on. However, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained for it.
[00:06:28] So this passage, written to a bunch of Christians going through a hard time, this passage uses the D words.
[00:06:37] The D words, the D word, discipline. Right. And I think that's difficult because in.
[00:06:44] I find, like in, in our context, in our culture, the word discipline has negative connotations, right? I don't know. Are you still allowed to use it at school at all?
[00:06:56] Looking for teachers? It's kind of like, are you allowed? Because it has. It has connotations of punishment, doesn't it? Discipline, you're going to be disciplined, that sort of thing. But here in this passage, it's not meaning that it's meaningful, the teaching and training of a child, of raising them up. So a bit about education that's in there, there as well. But the whole thing of raising a child to live, okay, so training a child. So things like imparting wisdom, training a child to live in the world. Things like teaching them character virtues like generosity or thanksgiving or self control.
[00:07:36] And the word discipline in English is really linked to the word disciple and discipleship.
[00:07:43] And so discipline is all about discipleship. It's about raising disciples. And if there's anyone that are our disciples, it's our children, or we try at least anyway. We want them to be disciples, to follow after us, to receive our teaching. We're educating them to live in the world. And this morning I want to encourage you, you who are parents, who've got kids that are just starting out in life, or kids that are grown up, we're still trying to impart wisdom to them and really to all of us, because we are all disciple makers as Christians. God commissions us as disciple makers. We are raising children in Christ.
[00:08:30] So if you're, you know, we use the terminology Peter uses it. The household of God. We are fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters in Christ, and we are all trying to encourage and raise others in Christ. So I want to just pick out three things from this passage that I think can help us all about discipline.
[00:08:52] The first one is that discipline.
[00:08:56] That was that one. Discipline is joyful.
[00:08:59] Daddy, you don't really connect the word joyful and discipline together, do you? I can see that as hard in this room. But discipline is joyful. Why? Because when we get to see the fruit of discipline, that's the joy, isn't it? That's the celebration.
[00:09:13] So a baby, right, training a baby to walk. Don't we celebrate every single little movement? Don't we?
[00:09:22] So whether it's the bottom shuffle along the floor, right, or getting into the crawl movements. And you help the child, don't you help the baby, you know, try and get sort of comfortable to crawl in, try and help it along its way. And then the baby, you start to get it to stand up, it's got some more strength. And we're celebrating every time, aren't we? Getting to sofa surfing.
[00:09:48] Not the other kind of sofa surfing, but you know, the one where you're sort of moving along by the sofa, they're kind of doing this. There's some nods there. It's not just me. And then finally the standing up by. So you know, you're holding a child by teaching them to walk forward. And as we train, we're going, well done. You've made it this far, you've done this. And don't we. We celebrate and we like to tell, you know, brag about it to other people, you know, other parents, oh, my child's done this. That's fantastic.
[00:10:17] And then we celebrate these milestones. But then as it gets older, as children get older, the milestones maybe get a little bit further apart. But we're still celebrating them, aren't we? Whether they get into school, they're bringing home reading or artwork or things that they've done, no matter how good it is, no matter what the world thinks. It's fantastic, isn't it? It's amazing. You've done that. I'm so proud. And we put it on our fridge magnets. Maybe that's a British thing to do. But anyway, put it on our fridges when the magnets. We celebrate it. And then they get into school, school years, exams, things like that, maybe sports, arts, music, things that they do. We celebrate every kind of milestone.
[00:11:02] But one of the things that also we should. I think that biblically, we should Almost take more joy in is character development.
[00:11:12] You know, when a child is changing, when they're maturing in their character, when they can do things like handle responsibility, when they can do things like actually suffering well, going through a really hard time and learning how to journey with that and do that well, developing patience or perseverance, These are all like, biblically, I say these are the things that we should be celebrating more than ever, giving them encouragement for it, because this is what we want for them.
[00:11:43] So discipline training is an opportunity for joy. It is success we should be celebrating with them. It's an opportunity for joy.
[00:11:55] But we also know the flip side of it, right?
[00:11:58] So discipline is also painful.
[00:12:02] Okay. You know the terrible toothpaste. Right. Even before that, do you know when we're trying to train the child, train our little children and they cry, don't they?
[00:12:16] Who feels the pain of their children crying? Okay, so I remember bedtimes.
[00:12:23] Bedtimes when you're trying to train.
[00:12:26] That is so difficult for me. Why is it? Why have I got these? When you're trying to help a child learn to go to bed at the right time and learn to get to bed by themselves and learn that. And they cry, don't they?
[00:12:39] Like, which child just willingly goes to bed as a toddler all by themselves? They want to stay up and they cry. It's really hard. And we feel the emotion of that as a parent. We just want to comfort them. We want to make the tears go away. We want to comfort them. We want to hold them. We want them to feel our love, know that they're loved. And they don't understand.
[00:13:03] They don't understand, why are you doing this to me? They can't even express it.
[00:13:07] They don't understand.
[00:13:09] And so this discipline, this training them, trying to get them to grow is hard time is a really hard time. And then as they get older, I'm sure those who have kids, who's got kids in their teenagers in teenage phase. Yeah, you guys need a lot of prayer.
[00:13:28] Okay.
[00:13:31] Mine were fantastic. Mine were unbelievably. They did everything.
[00:13:37] They were amazing. But, you know, kids at teenage, they're learning to find their own place in life.
[00:13:46] They're learning how to experience social networks and things. They're learning a bit more freedom. And they want to do things at their own pace.
[00:13:56] They want to push forward. They know best, don't they?
[00:14:00] I knew best. I mean, I look back and I remember things at which I screamed, shouted at my parents.
[00:14:08] And now I go, maybe I didn't know Best, maybe I didn't know best.
[00:14:14] And they, you know, we try and discipline them, we try and restrict their freedom.
[00:14:19] That's so unfair.
[00:14:21] Why are you treating me like that?
[00:14:24] I am not your slave.
[00:14:27] And then the ones that get more painful on, I hate you.
[00:14:32] Why?
[00:14:33] You're terrible.
[00:14:35] I want to leave.
[00:14:37] I wish I was someone else's child. Those things, those things just really hurt, don't they?
[00:14:46] And as a parent, we're called to sort of just journey through them.
[00:14:50] Discipline is painful and there's no getting away from it.
[00:14:54] And it's, you know, they don't understand what you're doing and why restricting their freedom is a good thing.
[00:15:01] We can look to the thing about in Australia and, you know, taking away social media for under 16s.
[00:15:08] I'm going to say it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing for them. I think there's a lot of evidence and sociology to say that and psychology to say that social media has really negative effects for teenagers as they're growing up.
[00:15:23] And they wouldn't understand.
[00:15:26] But we try, we try and discipline in them. So it puts on emotional pain for us.
[00:15:32] But finally discipline is joyful, but it is painful. But I'm going to say that discipline is love to endure a pain. As both a parent trying to seek the best for them, we are trying to seek the best for them.
[00:15:53] We want the best for our kids.
[00:15:56] We want them to grow up well, grow up knowing good character, developing good character, knowing right from wrong.
[00:16:06] And so training them, educating, imparting culture, nurturing them is love, is an expression of love.
[00:16:17] Now, I don't know about you, but I made lots of mistakes along the way.
[00:16:22] Please don't ask my children, but I did make lots of mistakes. We make mistakes.
[00:16:29] And it's painful knowing that you've made mistakes.
[00:16:32] Do you know, knowing that maybe you've pushed things a little bit too far. You did it out of love, you did it because you want the best for them. But maybe you got things wrong along the way. Maybe you gave them a bit too much freedom or not enough or you curtailed it too much.
[00:16:49] It's really, really hard and we make mistakes. But just because it's painful doesn't mean we shouldn't do it.
[00:16:57] Just because we make mistakes, it doesn't mean we, we shouldn't do it.
[00:17:04] When we read in this passage, God disciplines us for our good.
[00:17:09] He does it because he wants us to grow, to grow in him, in the knowledge of him, and grow in our relationship to be more and More like him. And we copy this. We discipline our children for our children's benefit for them.
[00:17:25] We do it out of love.
[00:17:27] I know in culture there's a phrase to do the most loving thing. Hey, you should be doing the most loving thing for them at the moment, or loving thing in this. And I feel like that phrase is actually used as a negative to say, hey, the loving thing is to give someone the most freedom to express themselves however they want.
[00:17:50] But that's not right.
[00:17:53] That's not what God does to us, and that's not what we should do as parents.
[00:18:01] I just want to go back to this last couple of verses.
[00:18:04] It says, they talking about fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best. But God disciplines for our goods in order that we may share in his holiness. It's not saying that fathers didn't.
[00:18:19] Fathers and mothers, parents didn't discipline us for our good. It's saying God does it for our good because of what? Because he wants us to share in his holiness in him, in what he is all about, in his character, in his perfection, in his mercy, in generosity.
[00:18:37] Says, no. Discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful later on. However, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained in it.
[00:18:49] Discipline is how God forms us to be more like him, to be gracious and kind and merciful.
[00:18:57] And I don't know about you, but I struggle when God is training me.
[00:19:02] I struggle when God is restricting my freedom, is saying, no, don't do that.
[00:19:11] I struggle in it.
[00:19:13] But the thing is, God always does it perfectly.
[00:19:18] It's not like he gets it wrong. He makes mistakes like we do.
[00:19:23] And we don't always like the way that he treats us. We are sometimes as unruly children, we say, hey, we want to be in charge. God, why don't you explain what you're doing right now? I need to know because I'm going to evaluate it and I'm going to determine whether I want to follow it or not.
[00:19:43] God, you don't understand what's going through my life at this moment.
[00:19:48] Why don't you tell me?
[00:19:51] And God Himself experiences that pain, that pain of his creation, humanity that he created.
[00:20:01] He experiences the pain of us unruly children turning away and saying, God, I don't love you.
[00:20:08] I don't want to follow you. I want to go my own way.
[00:20:14] And so we as humanity, we as people, we turned away from God, says in Romans, we've all gone our own way. We've all decided that we knew best and in the mess of it, in all of it, going our own way, we created mess.
[00:20:35] That mess of anger, that mess of hatred towards one another, that mess of malice and jealousy, that mess of broken relationships, that mess of betrayal, of pushing down other people in order to get what you wanted in life.
[00:20:59] But God in His mercy, what does he do?
[00:21:03] He takes on the pain himself.
[00:21:06] He takes on the pain to come down and to say, hey, I'm going to come and sort out the mess.
[00:21:12] I'm going to come and come and fix it.
[00:21:16] And so he's determined to come on and take all of this upon Himself in Jesus Christ. He came down not to just give us good wisdom and instruction for how we should live life. He did that.
[00:21:29] But he did also to take our mess upon Himself to nail it to the cross once and for all.
[00:21:38] And in doing so, what does he do?
[00:21:42] What does he do? He comes to bring reconciliation between God's children and God.
[00:21:50] It says. What does it say? It says, for the joy set before him, Christ endured the cross for the joy set. What joy is that? The joy of us coming into that loving relationship with God, to know him, to be reconciled to Him.
[00:22:08] That was the joy. That is the joy of a father, that is the joy of God himself.
[00:22:15] And so God pushed the reset button.
[00:22:18] He said, hey, I'm going to solve this problem and give us a future, a future in the distant future that will be perfect.
[00:22:30] A time when, hey, we won't push back against God, that we will see all things that is necessary.
[00:22:38] We will get to experience God. All of the hatred, anger, all of our messages will be gone.
[00:22:45] But in this meantime, God is calling us to honour, to obey him, to submit to him as children, to a parent, as he leads us towards Him. And so I want to give you that encouragement as God's children, to listen to him, to learn to him not to push back, but to accept his discipline of our life as we train Him.
[00:23:14] And then as parents here today, encouragement. Hey, we can model this.
[00:23:21] We can follow God in His ways, can't we?
[00:23:25] We can learn to endure pain because of the joy when our children have successes. That's the joy. Keep that in your minds, parents. When it's difficult, keep that in your minds.
[00:23:40] We make mistakes, but it's okay because God is in control.
[00:23:44] He is the one that's got the future. We don't know, but we trust it into Him. But I also want to encourage all of us here, encourage all of us.
[00:23:55] We are a family together.
[00:23:57] And just like we were praying, this Morning. Just as you committed, you said, we will.
[00:24:03] We have a responsibility to train one another.
[00:24:06] God. You know, in the New Testament it says that we come alongside to encourage, but also to challenge. When things are going wrong in people's lives, we're called to do that to one another. It's almost a form of parenting. There are fathers and mothers in this room. We're called to do that, to build up the body of Christ.
[00:24:27] Amen.
[00:24:28] Amen. Let's stand. If the bands could come back up, we're going to finish with a song.
[00:24:38] We're going to finish with a song that celebrates what God has done for us.
[00:24:45] And let's just bow our heads. Let's just take a pause for a moment of prayer just before we get into singing and celebrating.
[00:24:58] God, I want to thank you, Jesus. When you came down, you took everything upon yourself. You bore the ultimate cost to pain of our mess ups.
[00:25:14] And then you went back to the Father. And Lord, I'm so grateful for what you've done on the cross. But Lord, I'm so grateful that that was not the end of your pouring out of your love to us. Lord, I am so, so grateful that you continue to work into my life, into all of our lives, every single day.
[00:25:37] We are not distant. You are not a distant father.
[00:25:42] Through the Holy Spirit, you are close to us every day. And I, Lord, I want to commit us as a people to you again this morning.
[00:25:53] Say, Lord, would you have your will? Would you have your way in us, Lord, would you shape us and mold us, make us more like you? Help us to be a better family towards one another. Help us as parents, Lord, to shepherd the hearts of our children towards you, Lord.
[00:26:15] Whether they are our physical children or our spiritual children, Lord, we want to do that because we want the joy of seeing them know you, seeing them grow in you, seeing them become more like you. As you lead us, Lord.
[00:26:32] So, Lord, we need you. We need you.
[00:26:35] Come, come, Holy Spirit, be upon us.
[00:26:38] Amen. Amen. Let's worship. Go.
